Simmo's October 2025 reference

Why I Like Alex Large

Wrote these notes to leave a voice note but I think this is probably as good:

Core Qualities & Admiration

• Openness in showing self
• Deep desire to understand self and transform
• Ownership of flaws
• Responsive to feedback: Grateful, non-defensive, and actually implements feedback.
• Values I admire: Truth, authenticity, humour, creativity, growth, okayness.
• Shared interests: Wisdom, creativity, beautiful babes, self actualisation.
• Shared cultural references: Friends, Alvea, TPOT, crew, Manila/Taipei, Oxford.

Relational Dynamics & Growth

• Cycles of breakdown and repair: Post-YouTube, post-Oxford, post-recent tweet.
• Trust dynamics: Still some trust issue here for me.
• The “Tweet” Imagining: I had an imagining/day dream while angry about the tweet that something could happen from there such that you would very suddenly just delete all the slack channel or something.
  • Note: I’m unsure where this comes from and if there’s any real risk of this kind if we were to have a big breakdown. Doesn’t make sense to my “head.”
• The Glue: Overall, that a few iterations of moving through relational challenge and that’s a powerful glue and a good signal.

The Core: Maybe the core is something like we’re sharing a journey: side-by-side, each of us making sense of how we’re fucked up and how that’s ok and how our history led us to be this way, and how to be fully our amazing selves now regardless.

Contextual Experiences

Digital

• Huge support to my growth.
• Opportunity for me to support: I can step into this more given what you tweeted (I think) about wanting firmer feedback a la the thing you wrote for me.
• Companionship during alone times.
• Shared journey.

Solo IRL

• Sharing attempts to make something in the world.
• A significant multiplier to courage and chance of success when we join forces.
• Always fun to ideate with memos when we get furious in the early stages, even if so far we’ve found backing out to be the right decision mainly.

Group IRL

• My sense is our friendship is best in this setting.
• Reeeeally enjoyed our 1-to-1 times at Casa Tilo and the times when we got 1-to-1 in the context of the group there. Also some of the small group hangs together there.
• Support Balance: I feel a bit more like the one who supports more in that context vs. Big SAC where I feel you give me more value than I give you.
• It feels fun. Emotions of joy and sadness etc. Laughter. Shared experience.
• Processing our experience in real time with the (deep) context we have of each other.

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Overall Reflections

• There is probably nobody who knows Simmo of 2025 better than Alex, at least on paper.
• There’s something to be honoured there. There’s a commitment (not an expectation of continued commitment, tbc) that is implicit but rarely spoken to.
• The Family Dynamic: A bit like with family, I often find our relationship a bit tough:
  1. I find it harder to share appreciation and often feel it is shared less with me from you than from others.
  2. We grate on each other a little in ways that most of my friends don’t (sometimes feels like you don’t like or see the things that others love about me): and I’m very okay with that. You’re family now <3

(I feel like this final point (number 2) would be interesting/useful to dig into together, if you’re up for it)

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Additional Notes

On the Scrapbook Post

After reading this post from your scrapbook “Mythopoesis → rewriting the conclusion that “I am boring”, + “I don’t have much to offer, I don’t have any interests”:

It’s interesting that the ChatGPT notes are not descriptive of my experience of you. I think perhaps like how most of my close friends experience me differently than you do (I think).

On Tension and Triggers

There’s a tension between us. That’s part of our friendship. Something in us triggers each other and something in us likes it.

What is the trigger for me and why do I like the trigger?

• I don’t feel valued by you for the things that others value me for (humor, playfulness, performance, exuberant extroversion, intelligence, original thought).

Why do I like this?

• I like being challenged.
• I value rigorous critical feedback.
• I admire honesty and truth (the truth of your experience) when it is owned as such.
• These things are connective for me. They create a foundation of deep trust.

Closing thought: And I like many other things about our connection that do not trigger me so this is not just a relationship of constant friction.